THE DEER ATE MY WINTER TRIP TO BARBADOS

I was planning on using my cash earned from potatoes,
To fund my winter trip, to the Marvelous Barbados,
Of course, my potatoes this year,
Have been ate by the big, bad deer,
And, my arthritis  won't let me pick any tomatoes.

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THE DEER HUNT AND THE BAT LIMERICK

I climbed up a tree to hunt deer with my bow,
A big buck I targeted and was good to go,
But, the tree where I sat,
Was the home of a bat,
I then panicked and shot off my big toe.  

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THE POLAR BEAR AND THE MAMA DEER

There once was this polar bear, his name was Moe,

He had a hunger for every little doe,

Moe would watch them and drool,

An obsessed dumb bear fool,

Moe never caught one, because old Moe was slow.

CHRISTMAS TREES OUTSIDE

I like to decorate Christmas trees outside in the snow,

And, watch the colored bulbs in the sunshine glow,

But, watch out for the deer,

Because it is clear,

On your trees their chompers will mow.

HANG DIRTY SOCKS FOR HOLLYHOCKS

My garden was all full of rocks,
But it grew the most beautiful big hollyhocks,
Then along came a deer,
Who ate without fear,
Until I used a repellent of old dirty socks.

MACY THE WHITE TAILED DEER-Limerick

Macy is a white tailed deer,
She crosses traffic when it's clear,
She will wait for days,
She will look both ways,
That's why Macy is still here.

A deer named Macy eats in sweet corn fields,
She angers farmers as she reduces yields,
They all want her to pay,
She outwits them each day,
Her cunning is the one weapon she wields.

As I Perch

As I sit perched in my tin, wheeled villa,

Looking down from atop my hilla,

Onto a highway all curvy derby

Along comes prancing a deer named Herbie,

I fear he's had my pickles and my dilla,

Laying waste to my garden like the Hun Attila.

TWO LITTLE DEER SAT ON A HILL IN THE WOODS LIMERICK

Two little deer sat on a hill in the woods,
They were watching over their delicious green goods,
There were gardens of beans below,
The deer salivated to go,
Waiting for the gardeners to go back to their hoods.

A RATTLESNAKE WANTED A BEER

A rattlesnake wanted a beer,
I told him to go bite a deer,
He bit me instead,
Now I am half dead,
He drank the beer that was here.