WHAT DID GRANDMA SEND ME NOW?

I got a big, thick letter, and it was hard stamped, as postage due,

Sent to me by senile grandma, who lives in Kalamazoo,

A twenty-five dollar charge,

I decided, was too large,

I called grandma to see what was sent; it was my hair, at age two.

FREE MAIL LANDS DOC IN JAIL

I never had to get my mail,

My neighbor Doc, got it without fail,

He didn't  give it to me,

Doc considered my mail was free,

I wonder which neighbor will get it, now that Doc is in jail.

MY GARDEN IN THE MAIL

I got some seed that came in the mail, 

Now, I can grow me some peppers and kale,

I'll grow onions and toes,

Pickles and poes,

All with fert that comes from the tail.