SANTA, THE SNOW MONSTER AND THE ITTY BITTY

Santa went walking one night, and met a snow monster, and she was pretty,

The snow monster came up north, because the snow had melted in the city,

In the city, there were humans to eat,

Santa shared with her his best reindeer meat,

They ate deer meat all summer, the tastiest deer were the itty bitty.

I BOUGHT PROPERTY TO HUNT ON

I signed a purchase agreement, and bought a tiny, country lot,

All it has for a bathroom is a deer blind, and a two quart pot,

There is no place to sleep,

Except under the stars, or in my jeep,

I did find a roadkill deer, I'd eat it, but it's got some rot.

BEN WENT OUT HUNTING DEER

Ben went out hunting for deer,

He just had a sharp stick for a spear,

Ben found a ten point buck,

But Ben had no luck,

His spear failed, and he got pierced in his ear. 

THE VENISON MAN

I have venison in my freezer, 

I have venison on my grill,

I've dried venison,

I've canned venison,

I've powdered venison and made a pill,

I eat venison for breakfast,

I eat venison for lunch,

I eat venison for supper,

And, the funny meal called a brunch,

I give venison to my friends,

I give venison to people I hate,

I give venison away at Christmas,

I serve venison on a first date,

My life revolves around venison,

I spend all day hunting deer in the woods,

At night I peruse Lord Tennyson,

Snacking on venison mixed with dry goods.