JIMMY AND THE WINTER BURST

There was a twisting snownado that froze Jimmy's pipes,

The family couldn't flush the toilet, after their wipes,

It all made Jimmy mad,

His pipes froze, really bad,

Then all of his pipes burst, and his family had gripes.

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BOIL AND BUBBLE, THE SEPTIC TANK IS IN TROUBLE

It was sad when my septic eruption, fouled all my breathable air,

My memorial stone stated that I died from, "nose toxic despair",

If it's clear breathing you seek,

Country life you will find bleak,

For septic tanks overflow weekly, because they are clogged up with hair.

I SEE THE CAN AS HALF FULL

Our outdoor potty seems far, far away,

As the cold wind blows on this winter day,

There is the old coffee can,

Half filled by our cousin, Ann,

I will top it off, then inside I'll stay.