THEY DON'T HATCH OUT ALL GROWNUP

I inherited a dinosaur egg; it was really old,

The old egg has been in my family, since a time untold,

Yesterday, a saur popped out,

The kids and spouse all gave a shout,

They named the dino Spanky, because he acted two years old.

FROM THE ANCIENT CRYPT OF KINGS, I STOLE THEIR GOLDEN RINGS

Down In a dark tunnel, I found the crypt of the ancient kings,

I went into the dank, musky crypt, to steal their precious, things,

Clothes were stinky, loose and frayed,

Royal bodies, had decayed,

But, on their brittle finger bones, they showed off their golden rings.

WHAT BOOMER'S LIKED TO EAT

People were nicknamed "Boomer", because they ate only beans and cabbage,

Then every night at midnight, their bowels spewed something, smelling savage,

You could hear erupting power,

Some blasts required a shower,

I felt sorry for porcelain johns, their bowls, Boomer's sought to ravage.

THE IDES OF MARCH WARNING

The approaching Ides of March, foretell the warning,

Be alive at midnight, yet cold dead by morning,

Or, alive at this noon,

Dead by the risen moon,

And, a padded box you soon, will be adorning.

   

I HAVE MUMMY IN MY TUMMY

I went into a pyramid, and confronted a beast,

He was looking for yummy mummies, upon which to feast,

The old mummies looked quirky,

Tasted like turkey jerky,

The jerky from the feet, is the jerky I liked the least.

THE STOODS

I live in a collapsed mansion, out in the backwoods,

It has an ancient mansion name, I call it "The Stoods",

It stood through revolts and wars,

Great fires, floods and downpours,

It stood off all great evils, an outpost for the  goods.

MOMMY, THEY ARE CALLING ME A HOMINID

I'm being called a hominid, because I like to stand on my two hind feet,

The only reason I do it, is to see if I can find something to eat,

They all make fun of me,

Because I like to see,

But when I saw that polar bear, I got everyone to quickly retreat.

DON'T LOOK, IT'S ANTHROPOCENE

I've heard I live in an epoch called anthropocene,

I looked for dinosaurs, but none have I seen,

I guess it's human caused,

And not easily paused,

I just hope snails won't grow big, and turn mean.

WHEN I WAS A KID

When I was a kid, I was a nerd, not a fool,

I started chess club at my elementary school,

I was always the spelling champ,

My tests got only the "A" stamp,

Then I woke from my dream, when I fell off the bar stool.

I AM SPARTACUS, NOT

I dreamt I was a gladiator back in ancient Rome,

My chest was exposed, as was my lack of muscle tone,

Of course, I noticed that my sword,

Was made of thin cardboard,

Then, I felt the Roman spear through my belly and backbone.