I GRABBED A WILD TURKEY BY THE BEAK

I grabbed a wild turkey by the beak,
I thought it would stay calm but, boy did it freak,
It squawked a turkey alarm,
Then, it bit off my arm,
Now, a doctor is just what I seek.

FUZZY WAZZY HAD HICCUPS (A NURSERY RHYME REVISITED)

Was Fuzzy Wazzy a real bear?

Or was he just someone, not quite all there,

He was weird and vicious, gave kids a scare,

He'd sit for hours, with that goofy stare,

Finally, they placed him in tender care,

Where he died from hiccups, it was balls of hair,