SANTA ATE MY EDIBLE PET

I bought a fat goose and I named him Christmas, so now he is our Christmas goose,

Each morning I kick him out of the kid's bed, and in the backyard, he runs loose,

Christmas tried to run away,

By hiding in Santa's sleigh,

Santa took Christmas to the North Pole, and roasted Christmas in candy cane juice.

DINNER, HUGS, BUGS, RUGS AND PORCELAIN

My family came over for dinner and hugs,

I love them so much, in their food I put bugs,

With a heave and and ho,

To my bathroom they go, 

I just hope they hit porcelain, not rugs.