THE LAST WATTLE HOUSE STANDING

My uncle built his beautiful home, out of forest, wattle wood,

It took my uncle nearly 10 years, because he wattled it good,

In a summer storm, it did win,

Lasted through the tornado spin,

It was the last standing wattle house, in the wattle neighborhood.

STUPID INVADERS FROM SPACE PART TWO

Invaders from space cut and laid massive stone blocks,

They stacked them real high, like a toddler stacks toy blocks,

Traveled billions of miles in space,

They were so stupid in this case,

I showed them rebar and concrete on some Tic Toks.

I BUILT MY OWN HOME

Some people build themselves a beautiful home,

Sometimes with a straight roof, sometimes with a dome,

Well, I gave it a whack,

I built me a shack,

Some call it a dump, and that is my poem.

I NAILED TWO BOARDS TOGETHER

I nailed two boards together, but methinks those boards I should have screwed,

I did not have screws or a screwdriver, so I hammered and nailed, so crude,

Now the weather is getting bad,

My boards are loosening, so sad,

Soon my shack will blow away, and to the weather gods, I'll be nude.

I HIRED ELVES

I hired elves, 

To build some shelves,

They are boards of wood,

They've held up good,

They stand eights x twelves.

BROTHER DOUG DID IT

I had no nails to nail my tree house boards,

So I tied them to branches with electric cords,

Then my brother Dog

Found an electrical plug,

The city is where the fire rages towards.