END OF THE WORLD PREPARATION, UNDER FIRE

I'm preping for the end of the world to come,

I am being ridiculed, by more than just some,

I've moved into a tent,

With a woodstove and vent,

I hurt, because mom and dad call me a"dum, dum".

THE TATTOO

To scare my spouse, pets and kids, when I am feeling the blue,

I went to the barber and bought me a scorpion tattoo,

Its in the middle of my forehead,

And, I gave it a human name, Fred,

I showed the kids, and they started laughing, I cried, boohoo.