LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Santa went walking one night, and met a snow monster, and she was pretty, The snow monster came up north, because the snow had melted in the...

Henry was a little demon; a little demon Henry was, He always got his hair cut in a fun style, he called a "buzz", Henry baked a n...

I went out to the barn and what surprise did I find, A bear waiting out there, like a hunter in a blind, He waited there just for me,  He po...

I got a fruit basket from a friend, but the fruit was carved from wood, I chewed and chawed, cut and stabbed, but for food, the fruit wasn...

My bros and I went rafting down the river, and we hit a great, big rock, I was very surprised, but my mates were all thrown overboard, by th...

I knew this guy, The Impaler, he collected dead bugs, He got jollies impaling them, because he lacked mommy hugs, One day he went to jail, B...

My bestie, blue pig, got all covered with the mud, I set him down in a tub of hot soapy sud, He let on a big, loud squeal, Like a braked Che...

Benny don't like the woods cause it's full of biting bugs, And there's lots of hairy bears that squeeze him with bear hugs, Benn...

I bought four used tires for my Chevy pickup truck, My neighbor had a nail gun, so I was out of luck, The neighbor punctured each tire, Set ...

A hungry tiger escaped from the zoo, He ate up my pretty, pet cow, named Moo,  I feel really blue, The cat ate me too, I and my pet cow, bec...

Sleeping bears and snoring raccoons, Dream cool dreams, on hot afternoons, Then a walrus stops by, Bringing fish for a fry, After beer and B...

When my buddy has been eating tuna, he has a tell, His breath has a nasty, pungent type of exhaust, to smell, My buddy's breath makes ey...

I washed down a crusty, dry doughnut, with a soda pop, I started to puke, and was observed, by a passing cop, The cop took me to jail, Where...

I never should have gone to that party, over at Steve's, First, I got the botulism, followed by dry, horse heaves, What else could have ...

Recently, I traveled to Brazil, but my Portuguese, was flawed, I searched all my brains, to use the right words, but I hemmed and I hawed, P...

I bought some red roses, for my best mate, Allen Ron, He lies out in the graveyard, next to his brother, Jon, They were quite a bro pair, Bo...

I made some special, chicken fondue, I only had enough, just for two, But, you wanted more, So, I tripped to the store, When I got back, you...

Four dudes, sitting by some flames at the beach, were eating sweet corn, After fire toasting, they used butter and salt, to adorn, It was co...

My  bestest friend Elysium, went to take a withdrawal from their bank, Elysium lost all of their money, because the bank was in the tank, Th...

There is a big, mighty, green sea serpent, and his name is Moe,🐉 He swims alongside everywhere, my little boat will go,🚣 Sometimes I get r...