LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

It is spring and it's getting hotter, It is time to find my fly swatter, Baby flies are coming out, They will be chewing about, And, poo...

You see many monsters in the world, when you are just a little fly, I'm just looking for some turds to eat, then I can lay all my eggs, ...

I saw a fat iguana fall out of a tall tree, I thought I would eat it, because its meat was all free, Then on down came another, An iguana br...

I went to war with all the varied species of flies, The flies readied for war, their buzzes were battle cries, I did a human battle yell, It...

Everywhere I looked in my house, I found a big bug, I called in the bug exterminators, Dilly & Doug, They covered my house with a plasti...

Christmas is coming, I cannot find my pussy cat, I fear she was scared away by a wretched, fruit bat, I know she will come on back, When she...

I am the that little bat that hides behind your bedroom closet door, I come out at night, and play in your pretty hair, when you start to sn...

It got so warm in my little cabin, the flies hatched out, They were buzzing all around, and buzz singing all about, I whacked them with the ...

I always felt the biggest danger from the moths,12 Was their desire to consume many of my cloths,12 It seems moths have blood desires,8 Mont...

The bedbugs teeth are sharp, and real long, And, Denny rolled upon the bugs, wrong, The mad teeth bit in, Broke wide, Denny's skin, The ...

It got so cold, I asked the rats to snuggle in, In my creaky bed with the bedbugs, and my gin, We were all warm and cozy, While the outside ...

Last night, I left my clothes on the bedroom floor, and they loaded up with bugs, This morning, I spread the bugs to the family, when I gave...

They enter unseen, into my small, dark dump, to die, I am talking about the vicious, common house fly, I let fly paper hang, My fly zapper, ...

There was a big, silly gopher, named Terry, He could not pass any red, ripe strawberry, Terry would take a bite, Which gave Terry delight, B...

There were spider mites on his roses, and ants in his peonies, There were squirming worms in his cabbage, and his cat and dog had fleas, And...

The weevil in my veggie garden, is eating off the leaves, He eats the fleshy greens, and across the many plants, he weaves, He's fast at...

There were thousands of itzy, itzy, bitzy, bitzy, bugs, Under my pinky toenails, giving me blood sucking hugs, I might not be very bright, B...

There was a little Christmas beetle, that climbed down from my Christmas tree, The Christmas beetle was so cute and cuddly, that I just let ...

I had beautiful ivy plants, growing by my old barn,  I found my Ivy plants dead, one day, and I said, "oh, darn",   Two groundhogs...

I had summer sausage for my dinny, din, din, Much greased dripped down onto my fat chinny, chin chin, Mixing with pieces of cheese, It drew ...