LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Bernie was a big toothed beaver, and he toothed down thousands of big trees, Bernie knew just how to fall them, checking the soil type, and ...

My small bank account is shrinking because of the big, heavy snow, It cost me big money for snow plowing, and my savings grows low, My fathe...

Winter came and brought misery, misery, I am told, It blocked the paths of all creatures, and suffered them, the cold, Cold hurts the face, ...

My roof was all covered with green moss, Some fertilizer, I gave a toss, The moss dried up and it died, I take belligerent pride, In showi...

My name is Penny, I'm A bird with a bird nest, A bug laid eggs in my eggs; her babies ate best, The bug flew fast, away, I'll catch ...

I went out canoeing this morning, and ran into a big, beaver damn, The beaver saw me and started hissing, I saw him, and thought, Easter ham...

I climbed up a sand dune mountain, too early in the spring, My bare feet went numb, and my bare fingers, ached with a sting, A T and shorts,...

I am a tumbleweed, and I went tumbling today, The wind pushed me along, faster than seeds, or dry hay, I tumbled past some fence wire,  Into...

When the lake dam burst, my log cabin took a rigorous swim, Along with my sports card collection, and my pet spider, Jim, The log cabin fell...

I spied a bearded iris in a sea of white snow, I couldn't imagine what made that lovely iris grow, The cold made me sneeze, hack and cou...

I shot a squirrel that was up in a tree, I will eat squirrel meat, when I have my tea, You know what's what's, I found his nuts, I w...

The enormous, big, bad boulder, came rolling down the hill, It took out my camper, it was a total camper kill, I had not any place to stay, ...

Seven big, pretty salmon swam up the Betsy River, Each salmon carried a package they had to deliver, If each one gets their wish, They will ...

I squirrel proofed my bird feeder and made the squirrels mad, They smashed up my solar panels, and smashed them up real bad, Now I have no h...

George built a small temple, to worship a big tree, It was built out of the wood, called mahogany, George worshipped a white pine, It had ne...

Jimbo liked his potato snack, He bought them by the case to stack, But, then one day, A flood took them away, Now, the snacks feed the critt...

When I was laying deep down in the ground, Many thousands of earthworms came around, Then the maggots hatched out, They squirmed all about, ...

I went to dear camp and I got a big scare, My face was chewed off by an old grumpy bear, I tried running, But the bear wasn't funning, H...

DEAD GREENS IN ZOO MICHIGAN My garden grew and grew, Then it was suddenl y through, The frost stopped by, Made my greens all die, And it...

Parker liked eating possum, He baked it in his pie, Parker liked his possum sandwiches, On whole wheat bread, never rye, Parker had the hicc...