LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I grow red potatoes on the side of a steep hill, Most people can't quite stand up straight, but I have that skill, I go hoe, hoe, hoe, h...

My compost pile caught fire and burned down my garden shack, Now when I'm done working I have no place to put tools back, So, my tools...

My tiny, sick  panzy would not grow, My little, white lillies, they grow slow, My roses are all dead, Both the pink and the red, If things d...

There was a big, silly gopher, named Terry, He could not pass any red, ripe strawberry, Terry would take a bite, Which gave Terry delight, B...

There were spider mites on his roses, and ants in his peonies, There were squirming worms in his cabbage, and his cat and dog had fleas, And...

I knew my finances were in trouble, when  I couldn't afford turnips, at the store, When I can't afford to buy turnips, I know that I...

The weevil in my veggie garden, is eating off the leaves, He eats the fleshy greens, and across the many plants, he weaves, He's fast at...

My overgrown, deep reddish, raspberry vine, Dug its sticky prickers, deep into my spine, They stuck me so deep, They bled me to sleep, I now...

There were once eight garden heroes, called The Potato Super Eight, They protected the vegetable garden, and they were first rate, They chas...

Today I found a wrinkled carrot, sealed tight in a glass mason jar, It got really dry and spongy, sitting in the backseat of my car, Where d...

My arbutus looks so very pretty, Sitting in my garden in mid-city, Then there is my daisy, All flopped over crazy, Then there is rose, my pr...

I am hoping spring will get here real soon, I've started seeds growing, to plant in June, If it's too cold, My plants, I'm told,...

I bought a cute, little cherry tree, and put it in the ground, I put a steak in beside it with a pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, So the c...

I caught a rabbit in my trap, He started to cry, and I'm a sap, I let him go, That so and so, He ate my pansies, now I'm unhap

My pots and pans are full of mold, I should have washed them, I've been old, But I need my veggies each day, So I grow them my way, I us...

Ben's peppers were an abnormal hot, They made all his kids noses, run snot, Kids would not eat them, They stayed on the stem, Until they...

I observed a shinny, pretty flower, I feared a big, ugly bug might devour, So I got some bug spray, And, I sprayed away, The flower was dead...

My statues have some limitations; they stand only 2 feet tall, When I knock them over, they break, then they are not statues at all, I don...

My peppermint plant wilted and died, It sat in the sun, I guess it's vitals got fried, My cabbage got the worms,  With that I've com...

My garden potatoes were colored maroon, No one would eat them, except Mr. Raccoon, He ate them on a dare, Then messed his underwear, He sat ...