LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Jimmy thought education was king,  He was sure great riches it'd bring, But, after eight years of college, And vast quantities of kno...

I studied corporate finance, also quantum physics too, I got a job in banking, managed money, for people like you, Then the securities marke...

I always knew, that the intelligence of my math teacher, was not real, Teacher waddles all around the class, and barks and smells, like an o...

I had eighty pages left to read, in my chemistry book, My dear, precious eyesight, I am afraid, that boring book took, If my sight does not ...

Benny bought a python, so he could learn to write some computer code, The python squeezed poor Benny so tight, Benny lost his big, colon loa...

My home schooling mommy, said I was doing my participle, all wrong, Mommy did not say what the problem was, she just banged my tin, toy gong...

Benny grabbed a sharp pencil, to work out the, "Theory Of Everything ", But, all he worked out with his pencil, was constipation; ...

I write all of my limericks, listening to "Sweet Betsy From Pike", That is why in my school records, they described me as a sick...

Junior Quantos went to a public high school, He aced physics classes, using his big brain tool, Although, his body was puny, At 16, he went ...

I was a driver's trainee, When it was pour down rainy, I hit the brake, Slid, hit the lake, After going through the fence called...

I can't tell if my pet is a cat or a dog, It could be a goldfish, or a tree climbing frog, I should go to school, But that is not cool, ...

In my head I have a thinker, Sometimes, he is a stinker, Like math class, I will not pass, I'm tired in class, so I take a winker.

Timmy's mommy told Timmy that he had to do his best, That's why Timmy used a cheating note, when he took a test, But, when he tested...

I'm the only one I know that does not have a quantum physics degree, All that fancy math and stuff are just too much for me, I don't...

At our schools, we got rid of all of the books, We know all smart people are nothing, but crooks, We replaced all the teachers,  With porn s...

I burned the books in my house, and what did I get? Three sons in the jail, and they each have a dimwit, They turned out, not to be bright, ...

The three siblings were allowed back into the school, They had been suspended, for breaking every rule, Restricted to gym classes, Forbidden...

Siblings Sloppy, Lazy and Careless, decided to go to school, Sloppy, Lazy and Careless, didn't like those adults chosen to rule, Yet, th...

My landline,  nanna left off the hook, My cellphone, my mean nanna had took, I sat all alone, With no friends on the phone, And, decided to ...

I decided to fix up my crumbling digs, By making money raising razor back pigs, But one pig was no fool, He sued to attend school, Now he...