LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

On a recent travel, I went up a mountain pass, I rose up to the city with the towers of glass, I got a coffee to go, The service was slow, I...

Jimmy was a Boomer, and fell for every scam and trick, He couldn't discern lies from truth, because his mind didn't work, too quick,...

I new an old salty, heifer, many called her a cow, If you called her a cow to her face, she gave you a pow, It sounds screw lose, nutter biz...

There was a double headed eagle, that use to sit in my apple tree, The eagle use to eat the apples, but the apple tree died, recently, The t...

I got cracked off on my coffee, because it was way too strong and hot, It was the kind of drink, that if you are stuffed up, it will make yo...

The chicken wings are in the deep freezer; the pails of beer are in the fridge, Grandpa is an old geezer, but he can't keep up drinking ...

Every single Christmas, I get fired, It is never quite the Christmas, desired, But, I got a nice big stash, A coffee can full of cash, I...

I went to the tavern for a pint of bitters, In it were specks, looked like little critters, The bar keep said it was just dust, He'd pou...

Halloween is over, and I already miss it very much, I like dressing up like Elvis, and drinking my wicked warlock punch, Halloween comes but...

I had to make a post haste decline, When I was offered some parsnip wine, I'm willing to taste, Wines made from toothpaste, But vegetabl...

The rain pelted down on my brain, It made me 3/4 insane, I was way out in the woods, Picking mushroom goody goods, Dreamed of coco, flavored...

My table wine did not taste so good, Flavored like the polish I use on wood, My eyes turned dark green, Hurt in kidneys, liver spleen, Disco...

I put pepper and salt, In my Halloween malt, And a dash of sweet pumpkin too, Along with spider eyes, And little fat flies, Makes you ready ...

This year I had a failed crop of hops, So, now all winter I drink shots and pops, But, it's beer that I'll crave, Until, I go to my ...

It's Friday the Thirteenth and I can't win, I'm being visited by a houseful of kin, They devoured all my steaks, Leaving me t...