LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I tried to create some chaos, because that's the popular thing to do, I went to a pharmacy lab, and released the rats, and the monkeys t...

 Before the quaint, horse drawn wagon, climbed the old mill road hill, It was loaded with dry, ancient saw dust, from the old mill, For apar...

I have really rare pedigree hair, Its curls each grow into a square, Some say it looks pretty, Others, give me pity, My big sister has strai...

My weird brother-in-law, does not feel real, darn rosy, So, he piles into his pants pockets, some posey, He hasn't bathed in six weeks, ...

Roxxie The Red, got an up north summer job, as a councillor at Lake Tanganugha, While swimming, Roxxie was attacked by a monster, a whale, l...

I did my daily doomscrolling after midnight, The spirits squeezed up to my body, really tight, On all the channels I could see, Videos stric...

My home has been invaded by pesky, AI bots, They insist on urinating in my flower pots, And, whoever knew? AI bots had to poo, So, I send th...

I never saw a dinosaur, until I was almost ten, Daddy caught one in our backyard, and put it in a pen, We named the dinosaur, Dr. Grew, Afte...

I went out to Little Twin Lake, to find me a sabre tooth weasel. I wanted to paint his picture on a canvass, held by an easel. Found the wea...

Santa isn't using reindeer to pull his sleigh, this year, Instead, he's hired unicorns, they're cheap, they'll work for beer...

When the lake dam burst, my log cabin took a rigorous swim, Along with my sports card collection, and my pet spider, Jim, The log cabin fell...

Uncle Lee ran for parliament, because he thought through parliament, he could rule, There is no parliament in the U.S., he'd have known ...

I went to Ann Arbor Town, to take an art history class, But, no matter how hard I tried, the art class I could not pass, The teacher played ...

I got sacked before Christmas, and will receive no more pay, I won't get my Christmas bonus, it's not coming my way, My kids will ge...

Benny used green leaves for toilet paper, and got a bad infection, When he showed his old doctor, the doctor, quickly made a connection, Som...

The little creature floating in my stew, I caught in the lake that was colored blue, I bopped his head, so he would not come to, If he did, ...

Mary had just two pairs of socks, she bleached them white as snow, Everywhere that Mary went, one pair was sure to go, Mary bloodied up her ...

He had a tic in his tock,  And, a big rock in his sock, He spent everyday, listening to Rosy Land Bach, His debts started to swell, He had n...

Some wanted the world destroyed, Some put such feelings, on avoid, Then we all got nuked,  Radiation we puked, Just because a dictator had a...

I love to eat scoops of ice cream atop a sugar cone, But, every scoop of ice cream adds size round my hip bone, So, how many scoops of ice...