LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Everywhere I looked in my house, I found a big bug, I called in the bug exterminators, Dilly & Doug, They covered my house with a plasti...

They enter unseen, into my small, dark dump, to die, I am talking about the vicious, common house fly, I let fly paper hang, My fly zapper, ...

I told my barber, I'm not hugged, because my haircut is a big disgrace, The barber looked me in my big eye, and said, the problem was in...

I use to be a spider, who hid back behind the door, Then, someone got me with spider spray, and I am no more, A bug sucked out my spider jui...

When the sky is full of bright stars, but distant rumblings, make you wonder, If soon the sky will be cloudy, save for flashing lightning, w...

Cooking egg noodles has always been my big dream, I cook noodles all day, filling my house with steam, The kids, all day shout, To let the s...

I was on some wicked water skies, When attacked by vicious honey bees, The bees attacked my pale, naked knees, The poison made my leg muscle...

I was hunting bugs for my dinner, something good to cook, I stepped on an empty cricket shell, and that's all it took, The shell cut, so...

Sammy had little, baby bedbugs maturing in his nose, All the neighbors would get bedbugs, upon a Sammy expose, Sammy spread bedbugs near and...

The weevil in my veggie garden, is eating off the leaves, He eats the fleshy greens, and across the many plants, he weaves, He's fast at...

There were thousands of itzy, itzy, bitzy, bitzy, bugs, Under my pinky toenails, giving me blood sucking hugs, I might not be very bright, B...

Alden did a Tuesday podcast on making a nice, lemon tea, He thought he would get a million watchers, but all he got was me, I had to scoff, ...

My pot of stew fell off the counter, and spread all sloppy across the floor, Then an invading army of cockroaches, came in under the front d...

I had a pet beetle, but he ran quickly away He was caught and eaten by an old frazzled blue jay, At the end of his beak, The blue jay had a ...

I sued for peace the mean, itchy, hungry head lice, My last offer gave to them, a real good entice, So that I can get some sleep, And my cra...

In my home, the fruit flies found caves where they could sleep, The caves were my nostrils, I blew out a huge heap, The fruit flies flew awa...

Because my house had loads of mice and rats, I decided to get myself some cats, They ate the mice today, Frightened the rats away, To deal w...

I live in Michigan, we have zillions of bugs They eat into your eyeballs, you share them, with hugs, Bugs poop on your pans and dishes, They...

In the latest, late of dark night, From an earwig, I got a bite, The evil dear, Was in my ear, I slapped my ear, with all my might.

My lettuce was all covered with nasty, slimy slugs, My tomatoes were hollowed by chewing beetle bogs,  My pickles in the weeds, The birds pi...