LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I went into the woods hunting for bear, But, a Bigfoot had already been there, He ate all the bears, Except, for some hairs, And then, t...

I went to the airport and got stopped by some goons, They wouldn't let me pass, unless I sang them some tunes, I knew I could not go wro...

Butcher the beagle liked to eat flies, High in protein; those crunchy meat pies, Once he chomped down on a bee, Which made Butcher see, When...

I went to a space station to get some good rest, But, they ran out of peanut butter, so I had to protest, Then, they ran out of spaghetti,...

I am so mad at my neighbor for stealing my bestest, favorite book, It is about a queen cheating on the king, with the handsome bishop, and r...

My bestest buddy and I went for a toboggan, downhill ride, I could feel right away, the cold, crispy air, singe my facial hide, We went real...

February kiting is quite the odd sight to see, People pretending spring is here, and we are snow free, The fancy kites fly way high, In the ...

My ex-girlfriend moved back to Texas, to a big city called Dallas, She worked making greasy fries, at a grub bar called, Beer And Slop, By A...

My sister had a baby in the back of a self-driving, rental car, I am telling you right now, this story you will find, is really bizarre, Sis...

My outdoor toilet was all full of flowers, They grew well after all the rain showers, They were such a bouquet, I just let them stay, ...

Eating meat was the only way that King Benny was pleased, Now Benny is all nasty and scurvy diseased, His servants offered him fruits,...

On Halloween I'll trick for treats,             I'll fill my bag all up with sweets, When I've finished my roam, I'll...

I was fluttering around like a dizzy, busy bee, Then I fell into a glass cup of hot chamomile tea, I started to cook and drown, But, as I wa...

I go down to the Butcher's and buy "mystery meat", They won't tell me what it is, but its real cheap to eat, You can taste...

Tom ate honey until he smelled like a bee, Which attracted the bears from every county, Tom feared a bad beaten, But instead, he was eate...

Jimmy thought education was king,  He was sure great riches it'd bring, But, after eight years of college, And vast quantities of kno...

Hamlet was a shy dipsy diver bug, He'd dive if he caught a glimpse of your mug, He'd swim ten foot away, Before you could say, ...

Someone ate all of my chickens last night, The only trace found were feathers, all white, It must be the bear, He left his tracks there, ...

Fare thee well my Pumpkin Patch, May you  grow pumpkins that I might hatch, So that I might take the seeds, For on such yields my f...

Ninety-nine minnows swam way out to sea, Then along came a shark, and then there were three, Out of those ninety-nine minnows, three swam ...