LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I drove my pickup truck to the gas station to put gas in my gas tank, First, I had to get a bank loan, which was backed by the home of Uncle...

Prices have made my personal economics a huge disaster, I had to sell my collection of knick knacks, carved from alabaster, Poverty takes a ...

I slept inside a snowbank, because it is so cold, It's a hard thing to do, when you're 100 years old, My increased mortgage, I could...

I have noticed that local snakes, and our creepy lizards are bigger in size, Their growth awakens an ancient prejudice; a wish for reptilian...

I pulled my bad tooth out with pliers; it was done on a dare, I then started bleeding really bad, that gave me a teared scare, For an ambula...

Brother Eldon had two little feet, and they were white as snow, And, everywhere that Eldon went, his snow white feet would go, One cold day,...

We blogged about the winter, and we blogged about the deep snow, We blogged about the sunny places, we can't afford to go, It is now tim...

I went out to dig a body ditch, also known as a grave, Down to the body box of Dear Henry, a bro and a knave, Bro Henry, in life, Stole Sara...

I saddled up my big cougar, and road that monster to the store, I went inside to buy just beans, because we are the living poor, When I was ...

The Polar Vortex has frozen my ginger beer, Frostbite has taken my left nostril and right ear, Whirling snow blows around, Hits my face poun...

I always have the chewing and eating of beef burgs, on my brain, I feel that cattle are my victims; it's brain farts for the insane, Why...

I came down with a case of severe pox, I caught it from my new cereal box, There's pox in all the stores, In the ceilings and floors, I ...

I use to go to a dollar store, when I was a little kid, I had a much older brother who worked there, he was named, Sid, Sid was married to R...

Eating meat was the only way that King Benny was pleased, Now Benny is all nasty and scurvy diseased, His servants offered him fruits,...

Ron built an aquarium out of gingerbread, It didn't hold water and his fish are all dead, It may not be too soon, To say Ron's mi...

I am sociopathic, and it inspires me to both dance and sing, When I hear of tragedy for others, I hear the bells of joy, Ding,Ding! It is ve...

Bugs have entered my long beard, and their winter eggs, they have laid, The bugs know their eggs are safe, until Spring Sol contact is made,...

Today, I went Fall surfing, and ooh, the water, it was so cold, I progressed along my age timeline, 100 years; I feel old, Now I have a big,...

School is back, and I took my golden bugle to school, I play it between classes; I'm the kid who looks cool, But when I play sad taps, I...

My family, all died on me, and left me completely alone, They all got cremated, and I was left with just their ash and bone, I took them dow...