LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I climbed up a steep hill to see what was on top, All that was there was a big bear, singing hip hop, He stopped singing when he saw me, Ask...

I live in a sunken, old dinghy, at the bottom of the sea, With some dead preserved shark bones, and a deadly sting ray, named Ray Lee, I eat...

I stuck up my tent cabin, in a forest, near a beaver damed,  lake, I figured for my late night suppers, fish from the cold lake, I could tak...

I canoed up the river, and I got very tired and soar,  I did not make it to town, so I took a camp upon the shore, Found an old, torn, rubbe...

I moved to Clare Michigan, to be a cutter of hair, Things were going very well, until in walks a Clare bear, I cut some hair off the top, Th...

100 billion, billion beady eyes, were staring up at me, That was the ugliest bug I ever saw, sitting on my knee, Then, he spit into my mouth...

I have a pet raccoon and he eats only pinecones,  Does not care if filled with peanut butter or stones, He has rough roughage and while it s...

I went to Canada to do cavorting in fresh air, The air was really bad, and I got ate by some bear, Canada was a no win,  No going back there...

A woody was pecking a hole in my door, A rat was gnawing up through my vinyl floor, Then a buck and a doe, Smashed through my window, Next c...

There was a slithering orange snake in the snow, He slithered out onto the highway to glow, When they saw the snow snake, Each  car hit the ...

I have ticks in my garden and they're drinking my blood, The lack of blood makes me queasy and I fall down and go thud, It's a m...

Deep in the forest was where I sat, I had been ate by a bear and that was that, I was now just a big pile of wet bear scat, The bear had pil...

I went out to pick some juicy pears, And, had to fight off sixteen bears, Then, a wolf pack gave me meany stares, I said, "come get me,...

Always a coward, I turn and I run, I feel seeking pain is sick minded, not fun, With a tiger frontal attack, And, vicious bears at my back, ...

I went looking for earthworms to fish in the sea, And, me finds an earthworm measuring in feet, thirty-three, So, I turns to run, But, that ...

Such happy days I had with me dog, pet, When she passed, thought I, another I'd get, I could afford only a squirrel, I called his ...