LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

The Corn Moon rises up into the September sky, Forest monsters are dancing, and weird pumpkins, they fly, The great pigs we baste and roast,...

I knew my finances were in trouble, when  I couldn't afford turnips, at the store, When I can't afford to buy turnips, I know that I...

I had a cabbage, growing in my tennis shoe, That a cabbage could grow there, I just never knew, It started crowding my toes, I picked it, an...

Peter picked his big, sweet turnips, from the ground they swelled within, Peter picked them in the morning, and placed them in his turnip bi...

There was a politician, and his name was Sammy See, He stated he'd do anything to get my vote from me, I said I wanted pickles in a jar,...

Today I found a wrinkled carrot, sealed tight in a glass mason jar, It got really dry and spongy, sitting in the backseat of my car, Where d...

The vegetable farm held a turnip contest, once per day, The heaviest one got a ribbon, and put out on display, The very heaviest ones, Were ...

I bought a bag of potting soil to start pepper plants inside, I grow amazing, pretty pepper plants that are my joy and pride, I transplant t...

I will work all day for more pickles, I buy them with my hard earned nickels, They are really sour, They have pucker power, I fix my mouth b...

If only it wasn't so hot, That I have to water my pot, In my pot I grow greens, That I mix with my beans, And that's what I eat on, ...

My little potato plant would not grow, I asked it why? It did not know, When under it, I dug, I found the tubers, snug, I un-snugged the tub...

I planted my tomatoes in an old tin pot, The pot had no drain, so they got the root rot, My tomato plants went dead, Cautionary tale, tis sa...

I got me an old hen, but I ain't got no corn, So my Cornish hen, I cannot fully adorn, I got some chickpeas, And some salt from the seas...

I have a volcanic eruption in my yard,  It's burns my tomato plants, and fries my Swiss chard, Oh, oh, no, woe is me, I'm drinking l...

There was a little guinea pig, and he always picked his nose, Then one day he found out, just what up his nose could grows, A pickle, squash...

Benny had to take a pea, Out of a pea poddy He needed the form, Twas a pea corn born norm, So he could bounce it off a tree.

There are potatoes in my stew, chilli and all my  soup, There are potatoes in my fridge, freezer, cupboards, closet, stoop, There are potato...

I went down to the rover to wash off my beets, When I cook beets with butter, they're sought after treats, But, when I washed off the cl...

I went to Cheboygan to buy me some greens, I also bought carrots, kohlrabi and beans, But, I tell you no fake, I got a bad belly ache, S...