LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Along came a big flying monkey, and he flew off with my toupee, I'll never see that fake hair again, because the monk flew far away, My ...

My dinosaur was accused of eating the neighbor's apple pie, But, my dinosaur is a carnivore, and eating fruit ain't fly, Now my dino...

I studied corporate finance, also quantum physics too, I got a job in banking, managed money, for people like you, Then the securities marke...

Someone raided my big, kitchen pantry, and stole all of my fancy, marmalade, They probably took it to Sunshine Town, where it's worth it...

My roommate did a Jolly Roger, and stole everything that I had, When he moved out he took all of my stuff, with the help of his pirate dad. ...

My favorite, little, straight flute, got pinched today, Someone evil grabbed it, and ran quickly away, It has a silver shine, Smells like me...

I went to the pirate's perch to see if I could get back my stuff, It's an apartment over a bar, where porch pirates drink and puff, ...

Porch pirates have snuck up to my porch, backdoor, They stole packages, my puppy, and porch floor, If they think they can deal, There's ...

I rode on a magic reindeer in the velvet sky, I stole the deer from Santa, at the North Pole Fish Fry, I rode the reindeer all night, Until ...

I got raided by porch pirates today, They grabbed my sealed boxes, and sped away, They live next door, On the second floor, And eat peanut b...

Don't care if online I'm hacked, but they hacked my potato chips, Then they got into my cupboard, and stole some canned fish kips. I...

I have a sneaky canary named Chirp, He steals things, so he is a perp, He stole my popcorn, For his cage, to adorn, I locked his cage; he ha...

Too Little rode on a too little trike, Until Too Little stole a too little motorbike Too Little stole the mail, But what sent Too Little off...

In the ogre village next door, They are preparing for war, I stole one of their pigs, And, A shovel that digs, Now they're coming to eve...

Steve was a porch pirate who was very lucky, He threw boxes from porches into the back.of his trucky, Presents Steve got from his hood, Made...

Tiger, Tiger I'm really mad at you tonight, You ate my few taters, and my small piece of trite, Skinny me has no dinner, I can't gro...

A martian stole my grandfather clock, He came all this way and didn't have a tick-tock, It is quite original, Martian time isn...

I lost my gold nose ring when it fell on the floor, Stolen by a chipmunk, because I left open the door, Chipmunks are such thieves, They hid...

Betty the cashier, worked at an upscale grocery store, Her drawer came up short, so she was escorted out the door, They said Betty was not t...

I put an earring in my left ear, It was gold, and financially dear, But along came this Frankie, He gave my earring a yankey, The pain made ...