LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

The grocery prices are so high; it is bad, not good, Neighbors are now cannibals; it is not safe in my hood, The bugs under my door, Are my ...

My parachute did not open, and now I'm just a mess, I jumped from an airplane, and fell under a great duress, I made an enormous, gross ...

I saw a ghost in the hall, with a big sharp ax, and he was blood red, He was dripping blood on my floor, and missing his natural, human head...

There was a goblin in my shower, He was nine feet tall, that goblin tower, He was all teeth and scales, So, I made screams and wails, ...

I'm Herschel, a two foot tall zombie, and I lurk in the woods, I only eat the brains of pesky, Little Red Riding Hoods, Red Hoods are ve...

I have a thriving business, that sucks out your stinky, septic tank, The sewage is for me, an investment in my money market, bank, One day, ...

A dragon walked into the Sand Beach Summer Park, He chewed on the visitors, until it got dark, As the last person got chewed, The dragon did...

It was mid-July, and the horizon star drowned, and bugs came out to deep bite, They started biting my toes, and ended in my hair; that is my...

Friday The Thirteenth, is every time,  such a big hassle, Everyone is fear filled, so they hold down in their castle, But, the creature with...

The next door, family of cannibals, put me, and my family in jars, We were all set in front of a window, so at night, we can all watch the s...

I heard some movement underground, out amongst the rows of graves, I saw hands pierce the wet earth, as the dead left their coffin caves, I ...

There's a serpent living out in our great bay, In the winter, that's where the serpent will stay, Don't go out in a boat,  He wi...

Big Bang Berry, is the hot prawn from outer space, If you get him mad, he'll breath fire in your face, He's from the celestial bang,...

I saw the sign of evil, I fear the most, Six big locusts landed on my whole wheat toast, My lower jaw made a sag, Then I drooled on my dish ...

Daddy sells appendages like human fingers and human toes, Surprising what rich people pay, for a pretty human nose, Organs are where the mon...

The beast that lives in Sumer Valley, Eats the peasants, quite a tally, He will jelly them for toast, Or for dinner, a lamb roast, With pitc...

I was out in my garden, sitting in my summer seat, Waiting for the werewolf, for he was coming for his meat, I heard a crackling in the wood...

As we summoned up the dead, All the sky turned bloody red, With our sacrifice, the demons were fed, They drank the blood from the severed he...

The bad wolf was so white, he blended in with the snow, He crept up behind me, everywhere that I'd go, As I fell to my knees, I felt the...

In the streets the zombies roamed,  Their mouths were drooling while nostrils foamed, But, I valued my hide, So, I stayed inside, An...