LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I was doomscrolling for vampires, and found one with a long, green tooth, He got it stuck in a catsup bottle, while in a restaurant booth, I...

There is this glowing space laser, some call it the sun, It aims straight down on me, like some Martian ray gun, It's not at all funny, ...

I got burnt by some hot solar beams, Now I'm covered with ointments and creams, It has gotten so hot, My brains cooked quite a lot, Now ...

I caught some photons on my nose, They burned real bad like no one knows, My sunscreen failed, The SPF bailed, Now I suffer with...

My tan lotion didn't make me real tan, Instead, I turned red like tomatoes in a can, Then, my skin peeled and peeled, Until, I finall...