LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

It got so cold, I asked the rats to snuggle in, In my creaky bed with the bedbugs, and my gin, We were all warm and cozy, While the outside ...

I went down to the grocery store, to buy some affordable food, Nothing in the store, so I tried  the dumpster, where the gulls had all pooed...

I was so darn hungry, I started eating fresh, fallen snow, I flavored it with weed seeds, that didn't cause me poisoning, woe, I flavore...

Prices are way high, and I can't shop for beer, All of the good stuff, they cannot sell it here, Can't afford chicken legs, Forget a...

I do not give out the trick or treats, Just go away you kids, move your feets, Winter grows near, Candy grows dear, With long winter months,...

When the groceries get gone and times get really hard, Sometimes you eat supper from things found in the yard, Sometimes you skip meat, If t...

My friends tell me the food sources are declining, My menu, they all said, needs refining, They said if I would eat bugs, They would give me...

I went into the village to find me some heat, I found a huge box, lying free in the street, I just got moved in, And along comes my kin, I l...

Poor Lucinda got real bad sick, and turned a white and chalky way, She ate poison tree bark, and putrefied into the clay,  Lucinda had no mo...

Terry had a little lamb, named her Pretty Pam He treated Pretty Pam, like she was some close fam, Terry did not remember, To buy groceries i...

When times get rough I eat pinecones, I check the highway for bleached white bones, Then I make my cobwebs stew Though the ingredients...

DEAD GREENS IN ZOO MICHIGAN My garden grew and grew, Then it was suddenl y through, The frost stopped by, Made my greens all die, And it...

Snow is coming, this I fear, My right eye pees a single tear, I have not stored enough ginger beer, Nor, have I scored my needs in deer, Met...

A large chocolate Easter bunny went hopping down the street, Starving little children watched with want for food to eat, So, I journeyed...