LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Jimmy had worms burrowing deep into his ears, He had worm eggs sliding down his face in his tears, He bought topical lotions, And consumable...

I had a sweet, pretty chicken; the name was Bea, Bea thought it was real human, and it talked like me, I told Bea, "no, no, no", ...

I have worms growing in my old, mushy brains, I have worms growing in my clogged-up  heart veins, Some tape worms from the deli, Made a home...

There was an obese hominid, living in my maple tree, He said that I was his uncle, he then called me, Uncle Lee, I said, "that can'...

I went to a wedding between an ogre and troll, It was real deep in a cave, I felt like a ground mole, Neither of them was Einstein bright, I...

I journeyed deep into the swamp to the parts unknown, I found food for dinner, for there was plenty of bone, But what walks upright there? A...

I played with genes; I'd splice and I'd splex Until I created a rhinosaurus rex, It had sharp teeth and big horn, It kissed cows and...

There was a small sunfish named Ray, He lived way out in the great bay, He fell in love with a blue whale, Named Darlene Abigail, And th...

I drank contaminated tap water, and got sick as a dog, Then I turned into a girly frog, In a pond by some trees, I laid my babies, They'...

Christmas is coming, and I didn't know where the goose was at, Turns out it had a lover, and the lover was a bat, Now the babies fly aro...

The turkeys made some babies and put the babies in some eggs, When the babies broke out they had tiny beaks and little legs, But the babies ...