LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Every time I eat fried perch and then sleep, I dream I'm swimming in, out waters, in the way dark and deep, I'm chased by walley...

I was hungry for peaches, so I went to the grocery store, The store didn't have any peaches, because they were needed for war, I did not...

The bedbugs teeth are sharp, and real long, And, Denny rolled upon the bugs, wrong, The mad teeth bit in, Broke wide, Denny's skin, The ...

Denny had a chamber pot, made of porcelain as white as snow, Every place  that porcelain pot sat,  Denny was sure to go, When the bedroom ch...

I washed my dishes, my laundry, my car, ta-da, I polished the silver and wiped off the bar, rah-rah, But, work is a trap, Leads to an aftern...

In my head I have a thinker, Sometimes, he is a stinker, Like math class, I will not pass, I'm tired in class, so I take a winker.

I laid my head down on the pillow on top of my bed, But it was not a pillow, it was a possum instead, It bit on my face, Then ran from the p...

When young I thought it would happen soon, That I'd be in a top office near the sun and the moon, But, of course that is not so, I...

As I laid upon my bed, Someone painted my toenails red, Did some elf play a part? Or, a troll's expression of art?   Maybe it...

With pots and pans, a dinner I'll make,  Desert will be a choc frosting cake, I'll then have a nightcap, Take a night nap, In the a....

This be the tale of Mr. and Mrs. Trotter, They liked eating raw oysters and otter, They both spent much time on the potter, They'd flush...

Nero drank soda pop all week long, He would not stop, did not know it was wrong, But, then late at night, His bed felt not quite right, And,...