LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I rolled up my very long sleeves, When I went out to rake some leaves, Raked up under a pine, A down electric line, At my funeral, the wife ...

My neighbors were setting off holiday crackers, The crackers sounded like cannon blast attackers, One hit my shingled, tar roof, Caused a fi...

My wonderful, gentle, tender foot, Worked long shifts on chimneys, clearing soot, On the roof one day, He slid fast away, He now feeds a flo...

I use to have fingers, until one 4th Of July,🖖 From my fists I'd launch rockets, then watched them blowup and die,🌋 I got celebration ...

I went to dear camp and I got a big scare, My face was chewed off by an old grumpy bear, I tried running, But the bear wasn't funning, H...

I nailed two boards together, but methinks those boards I should have screwed, I did not have screws or a screwdriver, so I hammered and nai...

My neighbors name is shootie, He said shooting me was his duty, He aimed for my head, And shot me real dead, So my home he is free to go loo...

The ground was all frosty, and Benny's nose filled with snot, It was a day dear Benny, wished he had forgot, For a big tired truck, Hit ...

Donny thought he was smarter than the average bear, He broke into cabins and did not care, Then, he found a loaded gun Played with it just f...