LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I put some raisins in my shoes, to combat all the heat, When my honey kisses my toes, my toes, they'll taste real sweet, To continue a s...

Someone stuck a lead pencil in my foot, and I did not feel the pain, Methinks, that is just because my foot flops, about a mile, from my bra...

My neighbor's been living on castor beans, for about, the last couple of years, He's had the chocolate, backdoor trots, as attested ...

I had summer sausage for my dinny, din, din, Much greased dripped down onto my fat chinny, chin chin, Mixing with pieces of cheese, It drew ...

Mickey's nice teeth had all cavitised, The dentist pulled them all, no surprise, Now Mickey chews with his gums, Has gas in his tummy tu...

At work Steve always wore a mask, Even to do a simple task, His workmate, Punk, Smelled worse than skunk, In wretched aromas, Punk did bask.

Bobby used his right index finger to clean between his toes, Then when he was done, he'd polish the nostrils of his nose, Bobby did this...

Tony started growing whiskers at the age of forty-four, Tony didn't know what to do, he hadn't had whiskers before, Pulling whiskers...

I do not like bacteria, I do not like them one and all, They make my belly really sick, and make my little sister ball, Daddy brings them ho...

I made me a burger but it was a food fail, When I bit into the meat I found a toenail,  Couldn't tell from which creature, Came the unsi...

Johnny picked a giant booger, and that booger was record big, It was such a giant booger, Johnny really had to dig, Johnny felt some awful p...

Bob didn't brush his teeth, and they all got really rotty, Then a dentist Bob saw, and the dentist got snotty, Bob then went out to the ...

My toothbrush fell into the toilet, before it had been flushed, It was like family, that toothbrush, so now I'm completely crushed, My 5...

I went to see some Shakespeare, but they would not let me in,  They said I was so vile, I belonged in a chamber pot lined with tin, So, to g...