LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I thought that I was being a really good diet boy, I ate only burgers that were made out of common soy, But, my life change diet was handcuf...

I had to hunt for Thanksgiving dinner, but all I got was a chickadee, There was not much meat to feed four people, but I claimed dibs on the...

My chicken laid two little eggs that I fried up with some ham, The kids did not like breakfast; they wanted bacon flavored Spam, They had ce...

Jenny had many pans and Jenny had some pots, Jenny had a toaster, and toasted lots and lots, Jenny had a new, hot air fryer, Fancy cookware?...

I went fishing and caught one big, beautiful, king salmon fish, I cooked it in the oven, after I put it in a dish, Out of the oven, the fish...

My fresh blueberries, they all ran away, I had saved them for my cereal day, My cereal tastes like straw, And someone's chewed chaw, And...

Deep in the basement, is where all my kids, should forever be, Playing video games, or watching reality tv, I'd feed them crackers and c...

I drove over to the big box grocery store, and what's up? I can't afford a meager breakfast, lite lunch, or simple sup, I'll lay...

I went to the local grocery store, and I bought some greens, I bought some pork chop pork meat as a treat, and dish soap that cleans, I boug...

I had a couple of extra toes, and I cut them off for the meat, I went two days hungry, and needed something protein that I could eat, It is ...

Twas the middle night, and I shorted the fridge a pepper, cabbage coleslaw, I love eating vegetables late at night, but only ones that are r...

I made some special, chicken fondue, I only had enough, just for two, But, you wanted more, So, I tripped to the store, When I got back, you...

I wanted to have daily, fresh eggs for family treats, I went to the pet store, and  bought a pair of parakeets, The two birds, I did beg, Di...

I always drive over to Canada, to buy the best breakfast eggs, Their nice, big eggs don't have little chickens inside, with beaks, eyes ...

I opened my refrigerator, and maggots were eating my beef roast, J wondered how the maggots tasted, so I ate some on my buttered toast, They...

I am a little hominid, and I need something to eat, I burn a lot of calories, standing on my hind, two feet, I love bacon and eggs, Maybe, f...

I bought a dozen large, chicken eggs, Inside, I found beaks, eyes, guts and legs, Near as I could tell, These eggs were not well, The store ...

I got very hungry, and needed something for a noontime eat, I went to a store, and tried buying a teeny piece of raw meat, Although the meat...

I was a little red raspberry, a raspberry I was, I started getting somewhat rotten, and grew a little fuzz, Someone wanted me for sup, So th...

Jim wished that he could consume some beef Beef and cola, for his hunger grief, Holy Mola,  Beef and cola, And constipation pills for relief...