LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

We have Thanksgiving, before we can celebrate our annual Ho Ho, Ho! Then we meet and  eat ma's half frozen turkey, until our guts feel w...

I looked in my fridge for mayo, for my tuna with peas, All I could find was some honey, made by some, bumblebees, It was a nice family dine,...

For a chicken meal, I went out to a farm, I bought a live chicken, intending it harm, Her beautiful name was Grace, I took her back to my pl...

I went to Mancelona just to see where it is at, The only thing I found there was a female, cougar cat, The cougar decided to eat, I had blub...

John's elevator went down so very fast, When it hit ground floor he lost his meal last, All the potatoes and gravy, Ended up on poor Dav...

For Christmas dinner, I forgot to bake pie, I was confronted by my guests, who asked why? I was so full of despair, I pulled out my hair, An...

It was a very foggy Christmas Day, I let the dog out in the snow to play, He made a snowman, Peed on my new van, My ham turned out delicious...

I had some chicken fingers but, I should have had chicken feet, Then, when that bear came along he would not have had me to eat, My feet...

Pa was supposed to cut the turkey, but he cut something else instead, It smelled like the skunk out in the road, that laid there 3 days dead...

We have a chew and spit contest, on each Turkey Day, We chew up our turkey, then spit it away, We spit it at grandma, we spit it at pa, We s...

I got me an old hen, but I ain't got no corn, So my Cornish hen, I cannot fully adorn, I got some chickpeas, And some salt from the seas...

Fast and loose, the Christmas goose chased me across the yard, Fast and loose, I was chased by that goose, while I wore just a thin leotard,...