LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Benny loved joining in with the Baby Boomer scene, He wore wild disco pants, and was disco lean, Then he met a hot mama, Full of Gen X, high...

There once was a real mean, grouchy old pig, everyone called him, Sick Sam, He was always blowing his big, snout nose, because he was one ol...

Poor old, teenager, Sad Zack, laid crying on his back, Crying over attractiveness, Zackery, did lack, When he talked to girls, He often had ...

Harvey The Hobo,  had complete lack of normal, human rizz, No one wanted to be a part, of Harvey's personal bizz, Romantic? Harvey might...

If I could have a little pig, a little pig would do, If I could have a little pig, then I would name him Blue, We could buy candy at the sto...

There once was a cutie pie, The dear love that made me cry, I said "oh, good grief", Cutie was a thief, I bid my wallet, bye, bye.

Psychic Mystic Merkel tells the true About the future of me and you, Your mom and dad,  They hate me bad, If we breakup, it'll be a booh...

Cute little lad, Herbie, Wore a big derby, Hung his stylish hat, On his baseball bat, When he was spooning with Mrs. Zerbie.

Henry has morning fruitcake and coffee, then he does a prance dance, Hoping his neighbor next door, will be stimulated for romance, The neig...

My wonderful, gentle, tender foot, Worked long shifts on chimneys, clearing soot, On the roof one day, He slid fast away, He now feeds a flo...

Who wants to be my Valentine on this Monday morning, I don't have all my marbles, so consider this your warning, My chocolate little hea...

There once was a man named Sam, He ate the putrefied meat from a ham,  It made his bowels all throttle, So he peed in a bottle, And farted, ...

I decided to write etudes, that were fun and fancy, I did it for the trumpet, for my students Glen and Clancy,  The etudes made them play re...

It was the first day of October month, and my true love says to me, "Go out and get a job today, or I am smashing your color tv," ...

Barry had an octopus, he kept out in his ditch, Every Sunday the puss would sing, it had near perfect pitch, The puss sang in church choir, ...

With Richie, I am quite annoyed, For where I locate, he will avoid, He has someone brand new, So I'm sad, boohoo blue, When crossing pat...

I once knew this scientist named Pete, The only thing he studied was feet, He said what lurked among us, Was a terminal foot fungus, And toe...

On the first day of May it snowed, On the second day it blowed, I did not care, I live in despair, I stayed indoors with my toad.

Davy has amazing hips, He acquired, eating chips, A genetic fluke, gave him fish lips, His favorite protein is canned kips, Guzzles beer, wa...

I went to the club and danced under the lights, My eyes got all red, and everything was all brights, I met someone dear, We took a walk on t...