LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

It was the big dilly, the dilly part of my dilly day, Been dream wishing in late October, I could wakeup in May, I am The Great Vegan, I hal...

I gathered up my jumpy dog, and locked down my crumbling hovel, We walked down to the sandy beach, with my toy plastic pail and shovel, Buil...

Big, bad Donny was bed rotting for days and days, He only left bed to do potty or to graze, Donny drank soda sip, sip, sip, Then on the pott...

I live in a universe that has a verse that's parallel, In one verse my clothes smell clean, in another they stinky smell, My clothes in ...

I was admonished for working too slow, The boss wanted me to go, go, go, go, It caused me agonizing pain, When he planted chips in my brain,...

Ron sat on the toilet while listening to Mozart, Ron thought through osmosis, it would make him real smart, Ron had a chemistry test, Yet, i...

My landline,  nanna left off the hook, My cellphone, my mean nanna had took, I sat all alone, With no friends on the phone, And, decided to ...

It was often, almost never said, That anyone worked as slow as our Fred, He worked so slow, Didn't start or go, But he'd smile, when...

Bob didn't brush his teeth, and they all got really rotty, Then a dentist Bob saw, and the dentist got snotty, Bob then went out to the ...

They laid me off for the holiday, Said they might hire me back come next May, Why I was fired nobody would say, Of course, I call in sick ev...

I am afraid my trailer ain't rolling nowhere, It got ripped right in half by a huge grizzly bear, The bear ate the kids,  Methinks that...

It weren't even May, When I had my Earth Day, It was on my birthday, So at home I did stay, Watching movies, I had to pay, Eating popcor...