LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

For teeth, there was once was a tube of paste, It was never touched, and went to waste, Soon no one had teeth, They just gumed on their beef...

My bucket is full of minnows, and my can is full of worms, My lunchbox is full of candy; my hands are covered with germs, I am fishing in my...

Last night, I left my clothes on the bedroom floor, and they loaded up with bugs, This morning, I spread the bugs to the family, when I gave...

My weird brother-in-law, does not feel real, darn rosy, So, he piles into his pants pockets, some posey, He hasn't bathed in six weeks, ...

Some say, the inspiration for limericks, starts up in the nose, Others believe limericks start growing, between foot jammy toes, Wherever li...

My next door neighbor's index finger, got stuck in much deeper, than it looks, My neighbor got caught digging out deep, dark boogers, us...

I had a cabbage, growing in my tennis shoe, That a cabbage could grow there, I just never knew, It started crowding my toes, I picked it, an...

Jimmy bought a potion to take away his noxious, manly stink, Jimmy quickly drank it down, and he went not smelly in a blink, Jimmy, then got...

Time will clean your earring, so there is nothing for you to do, Dead skin and germs will fall away, to them you say "toodaloo", D...

My silly pussy cat was really poky and slow, It took him 8 hours to find his litter box and go, Then he would fall asleep, On his litter box...

There was something goopy, that came up through my straw, I sucked it from my soda pop, into my jaw, What a maddening, big waste, I used a t...

Sammy torments the little crawling bugs, Bugs get even with deep digs, and wide dugs, Mostly, the bugs bite, But, Sammy ain't bright, Sa...

Jimmy got locked into flossing, and flossed his front teeth every day, Jimmy thought flossing was iconic, but he lost his teeth anyway, When...

There was a clean scented squirrel named Amy, She had a little brother that smelled gamey, She had the super power, Shoved him into the show...

I live in Michigan, we have zillions of bugs They eat into your eyeballs, you share them, with hugs, Bugs poop on your pans and dishes, They...

I bought some fluoride toothpaste that came in a white, glass jar, I did not have to squeeze it, so I thought it would go far, It caught me ...

Scott had ugly bugs coming out his nose, He had even more nasties,  when he blows, Scott was meany mean, Even more, unclean, Scott had odd t...

I ate two onion bagels, and that was lunch, I washed them down with a sweet, raspberry punch, My teeth were full of ruts, On break I chewed ...

I played with my quite doggy, and I caught a case of mange, Then when I went to work, people looked at me real strange, Someone made a big f...

Free Soap, Free Soap, for better hygiene, To live long and prosper, you must keep yourself clean, It's not a small token, To disinfect w...