LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Kelly the leprechaun eats nothing but worms, He washes them thoroughly, because he does not like germs, He use to like greens, Kohlrabi and ...

They said I should act more like a human bean, I thought that comment was very crass and mean, At any party, Beans make one farty, Then futu...

Freddy fried a big pan of a food called bubble and squeak, He fed it to his five hound dogs, and soon the house did wreak, Freddy used his b...

I love my jam and my jelly, Either one can fill up my belly, And, then there's the other, Called peanut butter, When I mix them, my bell...

Stevie liked his pastries full of pie-filling, He'd eat them all day if his belly was willing, But, he never did think, The pie filli...

It was cold in the morning, so Ben boiled some rice, To give it good flavor, Ben buttered it twice, To give his bowels some torque, Ben adde...

Ned could smell a person flagellate, from across the sea, Ned could tell if they be flagellating their meds, or meals, or tea, Ned never kep...

I made bean and pepper pork sausage links, But, my brother-in-laws were both nasty finks, They ate ten sausages apiece, Then passed...

There is no greater power than the Emperor of Beans, He has turned the heads and soiled the beds of emperors, kings and queen, No one can cl...