LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

After over snacking, all evening, on prunes or plums, Tension filled guests, waited in a line, to empty their tums, The pipes took in litera...

There was a big, silly gopher, named Terry, He could not pass any red, ripe strawberry, Terry would take a bite, Which gave Terry delight, B...

I went to Canada to pick delicious, sweet peas, I don't like Florida peas, because they make me sneeze, I popped over to Maine Met my gi...

Peter picked his big, sweet turnips, from the ground they swelled within, Peter picked them in the morning, and placed them in his turnip bi...

I dug taters out of the ground, so I could have some dinner, Just one tater came from the hole, it was massive, a winner, But, it was full o...

When I stepped upon the big, growing weed, called dill, It was growing up on a sand and rocky hill, It stood in the hot sun, It was the only...

I bought a bag of potting soil to start pepper plants inside, I grow amazing, pretty pepper plants that are my joy and pride, I transplant t...

                              LCB I eat my crumpets, sip my tea, From my kitchen, I can see, I have a beautiful pine tree, It's free spi...

I saw a giant pumpkin, eating a fisherman, by the sea, The fisherman had a minnow bucket, so I set the minnows free, I decided to roast the ...

My peppermint plant wilted and died, It sat in the sun, I guess it's vitals got fried, My cabbage got the worms,  With that I've com...

Benny brutally weed wacked off his weeds, But, weed wacking spread around the weed seeds, It was so very unfair, Benny choked out on the air...

I bought some worm castings to mix into my soil, So I could grow tulips without the hard toil, But my doggie Ruff Ruff, Ate my worm castings...

There was a little guinea pig, and he always picked his nose, Then one day he found out, just what up his nose could grows, A pickle, squash...

I fried me some squash blossoms in my old frying pan, Then I fried me some baked beans, I cut out of a can, Although it all smelled like car...

I cannot begin to figure the cost, For my tomato garden was destroyed by frost, Some say they tire of my rants, That I should have cov...

I had a fish in my yard, He went and ate my swiss chard, He was such a savage,  He ate all of my cabbage, He brags about it everywhere l...

In my garden there was a pile of scat, I first thought is was the work of my cat, Then, standing there was a yeti, Which made the pile se...

My friend Carey gave me some vegan nacho tomato paste, She made it from scrapings from her yard, garden waste, I don't know what ...