LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My sassy, little monkey's name was Mayberry-Dean, She ate all her dinner, but got gassed up by the bean, We made her stay ten feet away,...

Benny sang soloist in a choir gang, Benny ate too many beans, before he sang, As Benny's britches rang and rang, The choir master said, ...

In a small cave I threw a nice party, Then shows up, my worst enemy, Marty, Marty drinks our mixed juice, Then mean Marty lets loose, Drivin...

They said I should act more like a human bean, I thought that comment was very crass and mean, At any party, Beans make one farty, Then futu...

Hermes loved the Poe story of "The Tell Tale Heart", Unfortunately with Hermes, he had a tell tale fart, And, just wouldn't yo...

It was cold in the morning, so Ben boiled some rice, To give it good flavor, Ben buttered it twice, To give his bowels some torque, Ben adde...

My name is Dan, Because I'm a man, I eat beans from a can, And eggs from a pan, From the house, I got a ban.

Ron wanted some peanuts to eat on today, But, a bag full of almonds sat in the way So, on the almonds Ron did feast, Till Ron gassed up like...

I bought my family a big piece of beef, Didn't know it would bring them constipation relief, They used the stocks of toilet paper, Paint...