LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I heard a loud pound, pound, pounding on my door in back, It was a grizzly bear, wanting his afternoon snack, The old grizzly wanted me, To ...

I got up from my nap and I'm tired, well, well, I've got to make supper and ring the dinner bell, What we're having today, Are c...

My kids exist to consume, pounds and pounds  of cheddar, string cheese, They are now looking like milk cattle, because I aimed to please, I ...

I opened my refrigerator, and maggots were eating my beef roast, J wondered how the maggots tasted, so I ate some on my buttered toast, They...

There once was an iconic, little blogger who could, He often made videos about carving craft wood, Then he'd slice up some ham, And fry ...

Because I leave my accounts, so unattended, On most social media, I've been unfriended, I deleted all the posts, My fans hate the most, ...

I went out on Lake Michigan and got bit by a shark, I did not feel any pain, then it suddenly went dark, I woke up in the sharks belly, Bein...

I decided to get some eats, So, I opened a can of beets, I spilled the juice, It ran real loose, And, stained purple my bare feets.     ...

I ate two onion bagels, and that was lunch, I washed them down with a sweet, raspberry punch, My teeth were full of ruts, On break I chewed ...

Benny brought home to his wife some cheap crabs, The crabs were just little dribbles and dabs, They came in a can, Fried up well with Spam, ...

I had parmesan cheese frog in my roaster, Thick garlic/onion bread in my wide toaster, It's the bestest of dinners, The best of the big ...

I went to Montreal to see the buildings and the beautiful sites, But I had trouble speaking French, because I lack some brights, At restaura...

My bagel had no cream cheese, so I put up a fuss, The diner said they had no cream cheese, because it turned to pus, I felt a shame, Putting...

I had me some eggs with runny yolk, Washed them down with Diet Coke, Ate 2 lbs of salt, had a stroke, My driver's license got a revoke, ...

All food deserves a garlic dash, It makes dull food vibrant and brash, Food with garlic delights my taster, And, garlic with butter is th...