LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My house was full of stinky, rowdy rats; I caged them and made them pets, I sold them for cash to neighbor kids; about that, I have no regre...

My Uncle Lee has been acting very weirdo, strange, Ever since Uncle got that slight case of doggy mange, He also caught a pox,  While confin...

Bill penned out a song that was extraordinary, real nice, He made the melody on his harmonica, device, The record was a go, And, Bill loved ...

I went today to see my heart specialist doc, He said my heart had a tick, but seldom a tock,  It made me both sad and happy, I would soon se...

Poor, crazy Jimmy spent a ton of cash, To get rid of a contagious, rare rash, It started on his toes, Went up to his nose, It went to his br...

Billy applied his sticky salve and creams, So Billy could sleep sound, and have nice dreams, Or else he'd itch, Toss and twitch, And hav...

Jim gave his girlfriend kisses and hugs, She claims Jim gave her ringworm and bugs, So, who to believe? Did either deceive? O...

Bob went to Newberry to see his cousin's skunk babies, They were cute little stinkers, but they gave Bob the scabies, Mange in his under...

I had a mosquito contact, It gave me a a malaria contract, Felt very sick, Went to hospital, real quick, Malaria is spreading, fun fact? Not...

I once knew this scientist named Pete, The only thing he studied was feet, He said what lurked among us, Was a terminal foot fungus, And toe...

Cold rainy weather makes us feel pain called, the cruds, The arthritis pain, we fight with the suds, We want mosquitos to bite, To take our ...

Whilst I cleaned fungus, from between my toes, at Lou's, An alien from mars, stole my brand new blue/pink shoes, That Martian, done a re...

When I lie I get an ache in my tooth, But I can't stand to tell ma the truth, It wasn't a foul fox, That gave my brother the pox, It...

A witch turned me into a turtle, not nice, I did nothing to him, except the crab lice, But I'm not to blame, For his scratches of shame,...

I went to Grammy's and got plague up my nose, I got covered with plague from my hairs to my toes I hope one fine day, The plague goes aw...

Johnny got intestinal worms, They caused itching and gave Johnny the squirms, He drank hot sauce for medication, Destroyed the worm confeder...