LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My bucket is full of minnows, and my can is full of worms, My lunchbox is full of candy; my hands are covered with germs, I am fishing in my...

My boots are all covered with wet mud, Walked into the house; got called a crud, I have no real common sense, But I took a big offence, I le...

I went diving in a nasty cesspool, desperate to come clean, It made my face all pucker up, so I used mamas Maybelline, The cess got in my be...

Pardon my stench, But I sat on a bench, Unlike my home stoop, It was covered in poop, The poop stuck to the back of my trench.

I got a rash and an itch when I fell asleep on my rugs, It seems my rugs are all filled with big, biting bugs, They ate all my blood, my swe...

I bought my family a big piece of beef, Didn't know it would bring them constipation relief, They used the stocks of toilet paper, Paint...