LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Sugarcane Kelly eats only the finest, sugarcane, She always claims it helps to feed her, growing, supreme brain, I fed her saccharine sweets...

There was a diet on Pete's docket, but Pete had pudding on his breath, The doctor said, if Pete eats more pudding, his prognosis will be...

I have a little goldfish, and the goldfish smiles, right at me, He sees me through his thick glass bowl, the water, and his cloud of pee, My...

I fried up a big greasy pan, full of chicken skins, My neighborhood loves them, all my dear kiths, and my kins, I fried many more than befor...

Kappie is a not too happy boy, a miserable old boy is he, He always lifts great weights, eats powdered drinks, but real flimsy, Kappie be, A...

I was hunting bugs for my dinner, something good to cook, I stepped on an empty cricket shell, and that's all it took, The shell cut, so...

I turned into blubber by taking the cabs, So, I went to the gym to build up my abs, I turned my soft blubber, Into a hard rubber, I changed ...

There once was an iconic, little blogger who could, He often made videos about carving craft wood, Then he'd slice up some ham, And fry ...

My pacemaker picked up the heart pace, So I stayed part of the human race, I could no longer eat, Tasty, fatty, salt meat, And that was a bo...

Don eats four fruits and a vegetable each day, Donny keeps his bowels cleared out, that simple way, French Fries and buttered toast, Don lik...

I love tasty potato chips, When they're salty on my soft lips, Vinegar sour, Sour cream power, Are the flavors that build my hips. 32024

Because Bobby only ate food that came in tins, Bobby was deficient in many vitamins, He had hunger for pork pie, He never knew exactly why, ...

Benny brought home to his wife some cheap crabs, The crabs were just little dribbles and dabs, They came in a can, Fried up well with Spam, ...

The candy store man had no teeth left in his daft head, His teeth rotted away, because on candy he fed, His kid's teeth were all filling...

The picking of the noses is a family tradition, Most do it for the fun, others do it for the nutrition, Dig for the boogers deep, deep, deep...

Leonard loves magnesium and that's just what he eats, But, when Leonard eats magnesium he soils his good sheets, Leonard goes to the...

Donny liked to eat a pan of bacon grease, fried grits, But, every time he ate them, Donny broke out with big zits, So, Donny got a witch to ...

Some plants grow very high, some plants grow very low, Some plants have cute fruits, some have fat tubers below, Some plants make you sick, ...

I got a card from Michigan, and this is what it said, That everyone in Michigan, no longer ate fried bread, A bacon grease shortage was the ...

I was sitting in my car, Eating quail eggs from a jar, Usually, I'd be eating chips, But my blue jeans, won't hold my hips, I'm ...