LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

It got so cold, I asked the rats to snuggle in, In my creaky bed with the bedbugs, and my gin, We were all warm and cozy, While the outside ...

My best bro was as furry as a big grisly bear, And, twice everyday, he would shave off all his hair, The need for furry care, My bro, though...

My favorite foot, is the one with thirty-five toes, It goes where I want it, like the foot already knows, The foot with toes, maxed at five,...

Daddy bought and sold things, like human lungs and human hearts, There's a lot of old rich people needing many new parts, There was an o...

My two biggest toes were all mold, My three little toes, shivered cold, I queried  my disease, Regarding frozen toesies, Chop, chop, was wha...

There was a little Rupert, and he was completely made of toe, And everywhere that Rupert went, the foot felt it had to go, Rupert was the bi...

Dark circles under the eyes, Flabby bulges in the thighs, Teeth with stains, Big weight gains, You turned 21, it's no surprise.

After I received a vampire bite, Then I turned a real white, white, My hope did a sag, When I got my toe tag, And got shoved in a freezer, r...

I am full of parasites, Micro ones and big ones with bites, They burrow in, Organs and skin, Making irritating days, restless nights.