LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I was doomscrolling for vampires, and found one with a long, green tooth, He got it stuck in a catsup bottle, while in a restaurant booth, I...

I felt rich when I found in my wallet, a dollar, I felt smart when I read me a book, a scholar, I still felt so defeated, When everyone twee...

I sued for peace the mean, itchy, hungry head lice, My last offer gave to them, a real good entice, So that I can get some sleep, And my cra...

When I lost my cell phone, I knew I was screw-doomed, My brain arteries burst, and my heart boom, boom, boomed, I knew I was bone, cold dead...

The doctor said I was made of parts unknown, He said I had cartilage where I should have had bone, My blood was not red, More a mauve color ...

In great lakes and great oceans fishermen find their riches, But, I find my best fishing along roads with deep ditches, Among the cattai...