LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My backpack was full of candy bars, filled with chocolate cream, The squirrels that were following me, had developed a scheme, I was a nerd,...

There is a local alligator, I believe his name is Sammy, He ate a roasted tater, along with that missing tourist, Tammy, Sammy lives in a de...

I went blackberry picking, and dropped a blackberry upon the ground, I bent over to pick up the berry, and heard a bear growling sound, I sc...

Invaders from space cut and laid massive stone blocks, They stacked them real high, like a toddler stacks toy blocks, Traveled billions of m...

I saw a giant pumpkin, eating a fisherman, by the sea, The fisherman had a minnow bucket, so I set the minnows free, I decided to roast the ...

My neighbor weaponized my shovel, and attacked some small ants, The ants were little red biters, and ran up my neighbor's pants, Like a ...

There was a big zombie sitting in my apple tree, Now, he is terrorising glass jars, in my pantry, He's eating all the canned pears, And,...

I came upon some smelly, white spotted frogs, They smelled bad, because they lived in the low bogs, I gave one a slight touch, But, it was s...

The zombies attacked on the 4th Of July, They ate my best friends, Herbie and Guy, Then the rocket glared, The zombies got scarred, And I at...

There are feral dogs out in the dark, I know they're there because I hear them bark, When they bite it's an ouch, A month to recover...

Meanie mosquitos, they done ate off my arms, Then when I looked for my legs, that set off alarms, My legs were in mosquito guts, I was going...

A Bigfoot made a nest in the barn on my farm, I did not believe it would cause any harm, But when the Bigfoot eggs hatched out, There were l...

As I laid upon my bed, Someone painted my toenails red, Did some elf play a part? Or, a troll's expression of art?   Maybe it...

Deep in the forest was where I sat, I had been ate by a bear and that was that, I was now just a big pile of wet bear scat, The bear had pil...