LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I'm Herschel, a two foot tall zombie, and I lurk in the woods, I only eat the brains of pesky, Little Red Riding Hoods, Red Hoods are ve...

As we summoned up the dead, All the sky turned bloody red, With our sacrifice, the demons were fed, They drank the blood from the severed he...

I went to a restaurant to eat bacon and eggs, They said the only protein they served, walked on two legs, It was a zombie cuisine, Special w...

He just rose up from the dead and started eating people's brains, But after eating all that gray matter, no memories he retains, I thoug...

The zombies were coming and I was alone in my shack, I had nothing to fight off a great zombie attack, I looked under my bug filled cot,...

A zombie who had no charm, Bit off my pretty right arm, Then after he fed, He walked away with the dead, I reincarnated as a pig on a farm....

A Zombie attacked me from the rear, I turned to stick a screwdriver into it's ear, But, that dead-eyed sneak freak, Bit off my...

With the zombies I grew real tight, They even taught me how to bite, Soon, I was their boss, I made them use toothpaste and floss, N...

There were nothing but zombies left on my street, They were all looking for someone with big brains to eat, But, because I don't dig t...

The stork brought babies and babies, My pet rat came down with the rabies, My skin was all covered with scabies, It was the darkest and dark...

I found several zombies swimming in my swimming pool, Their arms were eaten off so their swim style was not cool, Like dead fish in my fis...

I love my zombie girl so much I know I must be mad, But, when my zombie girl is out of touch, My heart just feels so sad. I love my zom...

HOW I BECAME A ZOMBIE My pet brain eating zombie squirrel bit me earlier today, My nose is runny with some goopy green stuff and my skin i...

I wonder what zombies like best to eat? Is it the fingers?  Is it the feet? Do zombies like best the naval or lips? Or, maybe they like s...

Sometimes I'm feeling so cold, And, up my legs is creeping green mold, I'm not living they said, Because I walk with the dead, Eatin...

I came across zombies who were all eating bugs, I offered them brains but, I got no bites or head hugs, I think they were crazy, Or, just re...

When I saw the zombies coming, Then, my heart began drumming, There were so many I quit summing, And, all I heard was corpses humming, I kne...

We are all just part of the zombie oceans, We swim against riptides just to get our promotions, But, when our own dark day ends, Just ...