LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Bob was sleeping all quiet, in his warm bed upstairs, When he awoke hearing footsteps of three, great big bears, When they entered his bedro...

I had a big pet raven, and he liked to eat canary, He used to eat them by the bunch, like a small, yellow berry, The canary birds worked tog...

Bernie was a big toothed beaver, and he toothed down thousands of big trees, Bernie knew just how to fall them, checking the soil type, and ...

I could not afford to raise chickens to eat, so I raised some chickadees, Chickadees have almost no flesh to eat; their boney breast, just a...

I walked into a dark, deep cave, and saddled up a big, black bear, Some call me extremely brave, others think I need a brain repair, I rode ...

The howling of a wolf in the woods, filled my beastly, carnal heart's holes, The howling was a call to the forest minions, to awaken wer...

I dropped my solar lamp into the lake, while forest camping,  Now I fear the inner wires will need major revamping, In the dark tent, my bod...

I fell off a cliff, and looked down at big, sharp, nasty stones, I knew that soon upon them, I'd be bleaching my broke bones, Then I saw...

I found some dry hickory, so I lit it to heat a winter stew, I threw in the stew a snow bunny, a dead frog and something that flew, The stew...

The sun sank down and burned up the Autumn, red trees, That made birdies chirp, and it stirred up the sweet bees, The bees moved their caram...

A hungry tiger escaped from the zoo, He ate up my pretty, pet cow, named Moo,  I feel really blue, The cat ate me too, I and my pet cow, bec...

A big, bad breathed, wolf walked arrogantly, into our school, When the bad wolf ate the gym teacher, we kids thought it was cool, Before we ...

There was a big, silly gopher, named Terry, He could not pass any red, ripe strawberry, Terry would take a bite, Which gave Terry delight, B...

All of the kitty cat lips, were all tongue licken,  In the garbage, there was the skin of a chicken, The wicked aroma that smelled, All kitt...

There was an old man, who sat at the zoo, He shared his dill pickles, with a humpback, kangaroo, The kids got all scared, When his teeth, th...

I went out canoeing this morning, and ran into a big, beaver damn, The beaver saw me and started hissing, I saw him, and thought, Easter ham...

I'd often take my cow, Maisy out on a woods walk, She'd soothe me with soft moos, while I unwound with thought talk, One day, a lion...

Frank was bald as a marble, yet coveted thick, long hair, Frank was inspired, when he eye spied, Big Benny The Bear, Frank went hunting for ...

I read one cooking book every day, Mostly, on cooking in pots made of clay, When I crock cook my stew, I will share some with you, The best ...

The raccoon and I knew that the near future would reveal, Which one of us would become the other's evening meal, I through hard fists in...