LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Barney the big horned buffalo, put on some purple underwear,  He did not like being naked, because all the girls would stare, One girl buffa...

A large frozen iguana fell from the sky, down to my head, It split my thin skull wide open, and my white shirt got all red, In Florida, we g...

I went and scraped marsupials off the road today, I had to really scrape them, cause they had dried up in the clay, Consider yourself a winn...

During the winter storm, three little bears got lost in the woods, When they broke into my cabin, and ate all my pantry goods, When I went t...

I stopped my pickup to see about giving a gator, aid, He was gimping down the highway, near the old pinball arcade, I asked him, "you...

I went into the woods, and saddled a wild bear, I rode him into town, and tied him up in the square, At the store, while I was inside, A guy...

I have a pet alpha monkey, and he ate all my bread, He ate all my food proteins too, so soon I will be dead, Alpha monkey can almost fly,  C...

 Twelve skunks moved to Midland Michigan, from a town called Montreal, They all moved to Michigan, because hula hooping was their call, In M...

Amadeus the skunk left his scent in the air, Everyone disliked it but he seemed not to care, One day while all alone, Amadeus began to mo...

The squirrel had to make his nut, and his nut was at the top of the big tree, The squirrel had to pay all his bills, because the life of a s...

A hairy bear named Terry, wore his new, sparkling Speedo to the beach, Nobody saw Terry's Speedo, because bear hair covered the Speedo b...

I walked to the other side of the lake, and a lion was there, He started eyeing me real good, as did his buddy, the big bear, I took my walk...

My little tame rat, named Alger, was always chewing flowers, The flowers,were non-lethal, but they made him poop for hours, Then, 3 times ev...

With a Michigan moose, I formed a real tight bond, We both liked to chew on weeds, in a holding pond, To make pond weeds to be tasty, Do not...

There is a local alligator, I believe his name is Sammy, He ate a roasted tater, along with that missing tourist, Tammy, Sammy lives in a de...

Everybody says, I deserve the face eating, that I got, Because, I did really stupid stuff, furthering an evil plot, Didn't know those pu...

I never saw a dinosaur, until I was almost ten, Daddy caught one in our backyard, and put it in a pen, We named the dinosaur, Dr. Grew, Afte...

If a cougar you want to stop, First you give him a karate chop, If he rips your arm off then you stop,   And, cry out for your mom and...

I went and watched some solar flares, Singed my eyeballs, gave them tears, I burned my skin, They told next of kin, Then they fed what remai...

Will went out in the forest to carve some wood, Will found a branch, he carved it good, He carved a fighting stick, But a wolf broke it quic...