LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My small bank account is shrinking because of the big, heavy snow, It cost me big money for snow plowing, and my savings grows low, My fathe...

The Polar Vortex has frozen my ginger beer, Frostbite has taken my left nostril and right ear, Whirling snow blows around, Hits my face poun...

I walked 6-7 miles to visit with my dear, Aunt Cora, She slapped some stakes upon the grill for me and her cute daughter, Dora, Our picnic o...

There was a twisting snownado that froze Jimmy's pipes, The family couldn't flush the toilet, after their wipes, It all made Jimmy m...

Oh, the massively big momma spider, cried, Because all of her cute babies, drowned and died, They all washed far away, Got buried under clay...

I went to the beach for sunbathing, but I started to cry, We were having a big, beach snowstorm on the Fourth Of July, I had an expensive su...

I was going to a parade, then it started to rain, I did not want to experience a lightning strike, pain, Through the window, I watched the r...

My uncle built his beautiful home, out of forest, wattle wood, It took my uncle nearly 10 years, because he wattled it good, In a summer sto...

Everyone in my town, has had severe frostbite of the nose, They all had their snoggers cut off, before their high school picture pose, Town ...

After Benny played outside in the cold snow, His nose got so stuffed up, Benny could not blow, The blowback popped his ears, Then he shed ma...

Where do the melted icicles go? Into a river beneath the snow, It runs to the street, Where it wets your feet, And ruins your shoes, and cos...

I am just a frozen popsicle on a ski, Resulting from the Polar Vortex meeting me, My jacket, all warm and tight, Could not handle Vortex mig...

I got polar vortexed, and it really didn't feel, very good, I used all my tanked propane, and burned every stick of wood, It froze hairs...

When the lake dam burst, my log cabin took a rigorous swim, Along with my sports card collection, and my pet spider, Jim, The log cabin fell...

The cold winter wind blows, then repeats, It's winter, and I have no blankets or sheets, Deliveries are at a stop, Even for my dear, sod...

It was early morning, and Larry's feet were covered with snow, And, everywhere that Larry went, the snow would blow blow, blow, Although...

Today is known as November One, It's real cold, and there ain't much for sun, In the pie pumpkin patch, Pumpkins ready to hatch, I...

I dreamt I was a pretty angel, standing in a field of corn, When I awoke, I was a scarecrow, and with rags I was adorn, I saw corn bent over...

I found a whole pizza, but it was up in the trees, Don't know how it got there, but there was a steady breeze, It took me quite a bit, B...

I could no longer afford paying home rent, I built a new estate, some called it a tent, On the most unhappiest day My tent was tornadoed awa...