LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I went out canoeing this morning, and ran into a big, beaver damn, The beaver saw me and started hissing, I saw him, and thought, Easter ham...

The raccoon and I knew that the near future would reveal, Which one of us would become the other's evening meal, I through hard fists in...

My trailer was surrounded by mean, billy goats, They came ashore at the lakefront, in motor boats, I knew I couldn't win, As they chewed...

I got bit by a nasty old shark, In the wading pool at the pet park, But, there was a doggy, He looked after, poor me, The dog chased off the...

My neighbors and I signed some treaties,  No one can trespass with their feeties, Unless chased by a bear, Then no one will care, If chased,...

I had a real bad scare, When I was eaten by that bear, He ate me arms, he ate me legs, For those appendages, I now need pegs, On t...

I came across a pile of scat all full of hairs, It was an enormous pile which gave me the scares, So, I backtracked thru the woods, As quiet...

I had a pet doggy named Fred, He became vicious when he wasn't fed, But, when I fed him Swiss chard, He bit me real hard, So hard I bled...