LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My granddad was born in 1795, I do not know how, but granddad is still alive, He only comes out at night, Disappears by first daylight, They...

I work fixing pots and pans, through the night, J cannot take the bright of the daylight, I am the living dead, Called, The Vampire Fred, I...

I journeyed to the Carpathians to become a real vampire, Ever since I was a new born, sucking fresh blood was a desire, I drink down blood t...

I went out on a date, and what did I see, Two long vampire teeth, coming for me, I hate to just whine, But dates found online, Most often, t...

Wicked disease, ultimate decay, They shun the light of every day, No one listens when they pray, Like angels that have fallen away. O...

They stay out in the dark river valleys, They do not live but, haunt our dreams, Of their kills they keep no tallies, Terror and bloodlust...

In the distance between the days, A Vampire was born, He lived in visual night and haze, A prince whom many scorn, Those that journey o...

They chopped off my head, and put me in a deep, cold grave, They piled on some heavy rocks, so I wouldn't misbehave, I crawled out of my...

An atomic bomb fell on my bat shed, The bomb went off then my bats were dead, But under some melting rubber tires, Some bats became vampires...

Goblins wait at my front door, Outback, gargoyles sound an endless roar, In the basement werewolves bang, While in the attic vampires h...

The vampires were all around and the sun would soon rise, The long tooths were about to bring on my demise, Then, the light came at us i...

Jim's driveway was all washed away, So Jim's trailer is where he had to stay, A vampire was on the loose He bled out Jim's goose...

I once knew a vampire, who mixed his blood with prune juice, He said that he did it, to keep his bowels loose, He said in year 607, He got t...

There was a little vampire, who bit me on my leg, I implored him not to, because my leg was a wood peg, He then felt lots of grief, When he ...

There was a vampire named Barry, He drank blood, but was allergic to dairy, He ate some ice cream, Then started to scream, His mouth bec...

I decided to hide all night, Halloween, Witches, vampires, werewolves are just not my seen, Then, down from the sky, A martian drop...

When I walked through my carpet my bare feet got lots of bites, I was not sure if they were ticks or fleas or maybe spider mites, I went...